I feel insecure about grasping the abstract concepts discussed in the Summer Institute class sessions. I am worried I was a lot of talk on my application and not a lot of walk in reality. It seems as though everyone has an opinion already, where as I am just catching on to what was discussed five minutes ago. Whenever I do think of something to contribute, someone says it and articulates is more clearly and adds to it in a way that never crossed my mind!
I took a look at my Statement of Purpose part of the application. The opening paragraph states:
By participating in the 2008 Summer Institute on “Media and the Senses”, I hope to explore the realm of scholarly research, and become more aware of my own relationship to media. Thus far while at the University of Washington, I have never tackled anything quite like exploring the sensory relationship to media. This is precisely why I am applying. I feel this is an opportunity to not only expand my academic horizons, but to experience a way of learning that deviates from the conventional classroom. It seems as though hands-on scholarly research in the humanities is rare, and perhaps fitting with the theme, I wish to be a “blank canvas”, upon which ideas may be tested and contested.And I stick that that. I am there to learn. Learn from the professors, from my peers, from the environment. I am lucky to even be participating, and should live in the moment and really take this opportunity to learn from my insecurities. The program is too short to let this hold me back from gleaning everything I can from this program. I realized recently that everything is a learning experience. There is a reason I am where I am and doing what I am doing.
There is nothing to do but jump head first.